Maybe (demo)

by courtlyn louise

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ever since my life got bad
the sun got a little bit shinier
I’m hopping around with beans sprouting out of my feet

and what a treat
to think that I’m okay
when I sat here moping and thinking and hoping that I would have
nothing more to say

and maybe I just didn’t want to admit I’ll be fine
and maybe it’s just I took comfort and pleasure
in wanting to resign from me

let me answer a question that you had been asking me
no, I don’t think that that’s what my life was supposed to be
I’d shudder and quake and convince myself I was still awake
only to find later on that the gentle husk I had was gone

and maybe I just didn’t want to do what I was told
and maybe I just thought that shopping around for a brand new brain
was getting kind of old

I’ve been told
that if I want to change directions and get out of the cold
I need to look at my reflection and think
that this is just a section of my life
but listen when I say that my brain has an infection
that you can’t just think away

And maybe it’s only a matter of time until I
Stop bleeding from my eyes and thinking that life
Will just pass me by

and for now
I’ll be fine


released December 18, 2020


all rights reserved



courtlyn louise New Jersey

queer musician / human bean

twitter/tiktok: @courtlynlouise ✨

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