Maybe (demo)

by courtlyn louise

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lyrics

ever since my life got bad
the sun got a little bit shinier
I’m hopping around with beans sprouting out of my feet

and what a treat
to think that I’m okay
when I sat here moping and thinking and hoping that I would have
nothing more to say

and maybe I just didn’t want to admit I’ll be fine
and maybe it’s just I took comfort and pleasure
in wanting to resign from me

let me answer a question that you had been asking me
no, I don’t think that that’s what my life was supposed to be
I’d shudder and quake and convince myself I was still awake
only to find later on that the gentle husk I had was gone

and maybe I just didn’t want to do what I was told
and maybe I just thought that shopping around for a brand new brain
was getting kind of old

I’ve been told
that if I want to change directions and get out of the cold
I need to look at my reflection and think
that this is just a section of my life
but listen when I say that my brain has an infection
that you can’t just think away

And maybe it’s only a matter of time until I
Stop bleeding from my eyes and thinking that life
Will just pass me by

and for now
I’ll be fine

credits

released December 18, 2020

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courtlyn louise New Jersey

queer musician / human bean

twitter/tiktok: @courtlynlouise ✨

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