1. |
Moving Past (demo)
01:45
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I guess we're not a match
I guess I lost my chance
but I guess we're not as broken here
as "I think it would be best" seemed to be
I thought we'd have it good
but now I'm thinking I should
not have spilled the beans so fast
'cause now I think you're moving past from me
I'm not even around to say
"let's try again another day"
tell me what you feel
I thought this could be real
but now that's just a fantasy
'cause you said your name and you left me
I'd glance and make your glasses change
and we could sleep the day away again
time is cruel
there were no rules
it seemed so strange that you'd make lists, the same as my brain
insaaaaaaaane
I know my luck ran out
but maybe we'll still shout
from every single rooftop here
we'll try again another year
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2. |
Excuses (demo)
01:58
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is my makeup running?
can you tell I'm crying?
I thought about crashing my car
I wasted everything
for just a little bit
of bliss before the dawn
I dyed my hair so I wouldn't look like someone who'd hurt you
I have no excuses to tear you apart, I know it's not worth it
I hope that someday, this blows past our ears like a breeze in the grass
I'm marking the days, I've got blood on my hands and a heart full of glass
my feet are soggy
my brain is cold
I'm walking alone
and I'm sick of this feeling I'm watching unfold
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3. |
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I'm out of touch with no release
and throwing out what I don't eat
but I'm sure that I won't defeat myself
in the back of my own mind where I'm camped out
I'm telling lies and making jokes
avoiding intersecting roads
in my head, where my bed just feels alone, oh oh
but I don't believe what I just said
I don't know what it is I need
I can't just drain my head for free
and I don't believe I don't receive enough from me
in regards to my own company
I don't expect the evening to fly around with me
and I don't expect the regal to buy a round for me
I admit that I'm really just trying to get by
I admit that I'm really just tentative and dry
oh oh oh
oh oh oh
oh oh oh
I can't be sure that I'm alright
but the shifting in my brain feels just fine
and the ringing in my ears has me holding tight
and I'm trying to make the most of my life
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4. |
"Okay" (demo)
02:18
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it doesn't make it easier
that now and then I'm easier
I can't help myself
it's getting hard to break away
but I can't shake away the pain
I can't help myself
and people like you make it so much harder
and no, I don't mean in that way
I run away, hiding, and you find ways to
kick down my doors, always
getting home with you at night
I try and say that I'm alright
but I don't feel that way
you said a lot of things that night
that didn't make me feel alright
and that shit's not okay
and you think you're charming and sexy and sweet but
I'm here to tell you you're just a fucking creep
and maybe you'll finally get a woman when you learn
to listen to the things that she says
and believe her
I can't believe you fucking lied
you said you had an alibi
but now I feel misled
you can't just squeeze a neck so tight
hoping it'll go alright
and I don't miss your bed
and making excuses won't stop all the fuses from
burning right up in your face
and maybe next time you will listen when a woman says
she doesn't like it that way
and you'll just say, "okay"
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5. |
All I Do (demo)
03:25
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I'm packing up my bags and leaving town
I wanna find a place where I won't see your face around
maybe denver or tennessee
maybe I'll find someone who won't make me want to leave
I'll change my sheets and go to bed
and try to scrape off the bad feelings that linger in my head
close my eyes and count to ten
and hope that next time, this won't happen again
all I do is dream of what I don't have
floating down a stream, trying to pick from two halves
of a life I once had
I'm making up my own mind for the first time in my life
I know what I want and I know that it's more than just a wife
I'm trying to take care of what the world wants from me
but not before I can take care of me
all I do is scream, but I still cannot hear
I'm afraid to fall, and upset all the gears
that spin my whole life
what I say I want is alone time, but not as much as I give myself
I really just want to be with someone, but not someone I'd put on a shelf
hold on x2
'cause I guess we made it here alone
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courtlyn louise New Jersey
courtlyn louise (she/they) is a queer singer/songwriter and musician. armed with a baritone ukulele, their music and vocal
style draw influence from folk, alt-rock, and contemporary musical theatre, combining conversational and metaphorical lyrics with flavorful chords and dynamic melodies 🌿
linktr.ee/courtlynlouise
... more
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